Archive for the 'loving husbands' Category


valentine’s “breakfast”

I surprised my husband with a valentine’s “breakfast” at the end of last week in place of the dinner of left-overs that I had promised him. (I tried to post this before Saturday morning but wordpress wasn’t letting me upload my photos…).
We had scrambled eggs, maple bacon, and heart shaped biscuits with jam. It was a big hit, and it’s always nice when B can finish her dinner in the same time it takes us (there was a night last week where it took her more than two hours to finish her dinner)! I even went so far as to light a few candles and set the table nicely with B’s “Love You Papa” valentine from last year.



Since school is back in full swing, Ben is working semi-regular hours again. For me, this means it’s time to start honing in on wife and home skills. Coming home to a clean home, cheerful faces and having 3 solid meals a day, plus snacks for in between can really boost a guys spirit. One of the most dangerous and wonderful things about being a housewife, is having the power to set the mood. In our house, I’ve noticed it seems to help Ben if I get up with him in the morning before he goes to work. It gives him someone to talk to or delegate little chores (finding keys, preparing coffee, breakfast) to help him get out the door on time and in a good mood. I’m pretty useless in the morning, so I try to have his lunch packed the night before. For breakfast, it’s easiest to have something I just have to re-heat (Ben requested my gook, so I made that last night) or something easily made, like eggs and toast. If you have a coffee maker that you can program to start automatically, use’s once less thing you have to do in the morning and who wouldn’t like waking up to the smell of coffee brewing? Find out what your hubby likes to drink with breakfast. Be it cranberry juice, V8, Ben likes “real” orange juice, so I keep that stashed for him. Even if you sit there like a lug while he eats, he’ll probably appreciate that you’re there with him. This week I made up some of the crock pot jambalaya. I froze part of it and we have been working through the remainder. It’s wonderful, because it’s SO easy to make and tastes great re-heated. It’s hot and healthy and it doesn’t get much better or easier! Lunches are always a challenge for me. Ben prefers meat sandwiches, so I try to keep ingredients on hand for him. One of the nice things about those, is they keep well overnight. Snacks can be easily kept on hand for before dinner is ready and after dinner snack attacks. We usually have cheese and bread, hummus, carrots and some kind of fruit around. Something else that can really help home feel like a sanctuary for the man of the house, is coming home to a comfortable atmosphere. For every guy the particulars probably vary, but for Ben, coming home to happy faces is of huge importance. I try not to attack him with a barrage of questions and complaints when he walks in the door. I try to have Ophelia recently napped, so she’s in a good mood. (Obviously, some days will be easier then others, and on particularly sanctifying days, I try to shoot Ben a warning email, letting him know to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home. :-)) After our attitudes, I’ve found Ben to be most comfortable in a clean home. It doesn’t have to be spotless, but things tidied up, swept and smelling good tends to help. As you can see, a lot of these things are domestic chores you and I do anyways, but I’d encourage you to find out how your husband would prioritize them and see if you can coordinate your agendas. Anyhow, that’s what I’m trying to work on right now. It’s keeping me very, very busy, but I’m enjoying my work and am finding the rewards to be most desirable. I’m able to relax better in the evenings, sleep better at night and I feel less guilty about sneaking in a nap during the afternoon.


Myths of Marriage No. 10

“In these columns I have been seeking to express truths about marriage that come into direct conflict
with our own usual understanding of it. It is those “myths” in marriage that get us into trouble because
we follow our own idealized vision and not the marriage that is actually before us; the one God has
given us and the one that is asking so much of us just now.

The tenth myth might be put this way: “my home is the place of my refuge.” That is, it is a castle
where I may retreat from the world, a kind of haven from the struggles and pressures and tensions of
the world. I return there to be recharged and refreshed and sent forth out into the world again.
In a certain sense that is true. Our homes are to be places of rest and love and hospitality; places where we can just be ourselves and find relaxation and the restrengthening of our lives. But if we see that as the sole function of the home in our lives we will fall into the common misunderstanding that is often described in the words, “a man’s home is his castle.”

Mike Mason* likens the home to a “monastery”, that is, a place in which people are changed from one
type of person into another; a school where vows have been taken and life is ordered toward the
developing of the spirit and the soul into something higher and finer. If we follow that analogy then the
home becomes the harder sphere as opposed to the workplace. How easily we think of the workplace as where the really tough decisions and actions take place. That’s where the action is and the home is easy. The home is soft and lovely to us and requires little of us. But that is to invert God’s order. God puts the priority on the home and calls us to establish that and focus on that first and then to go into the fields of labor. In fact, in the book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 24:5, a man is told not to engage in
outside activities, like war, for the first year of his marriage so that he can be happy at home with his
wife. That is, he is to make the necessary adjustments and give careful time and attention to the laying of the foundations of the home. War in Israel’s history was to possess the land and/or defend it from its enemies so that there could be marriages and homes established in it. To give up the marriage and the home in order to fight the war would make the battle pointless.

If we continue along Mason’s line of the home as a “monastery”, we would understand more about the
nature of our vows in marriage. When a monk or a nun enters monastic life they take vows of poverty,
chastity, and obedience. Our vows at the alter in marriage are similar. We no longer own anything
ourselves, even our own bodies. Everything we have belongs to our mate, It is a vow of poverty.
This is also a vow of chastity because we forsake all others in favor of our own. We give up covetous
desires of other people and devote ourselves solely to our mates. We become a “one-women man,” or a “one-man women,” and we delight only in that one whom God has given to us and to whom we have
taken sacred vows. It is a vow of chastity.

We also take a vow of obedience in the sense that a true marriage obeys God’s order for the institution of matrimony. We are not only committed to each other but to marriage itself as it is outlined in the Scripture. That is a call for husbands to live in self-sacrifice and in self-denial as Christ did for the
Church; laying Himself down for it. (Ephesians 5:35) It is for wives to obey the biblical mandate to
follow the leadership of their husbands and to throw a support under things they do and to be a genuine helper to them.

When we begin to see the home as a “monastery”, that is, a training school for the soul, we will not
resent the pains and sufferings and sacrifices that come along. We will realize “no pain- no gain.”
When deprivations may come to us or some visions of our own have to be scuttled in favor of our
spouse, we will remember that God is shaping us into the image of our Lord Jesus Christ who laid
down His very life for us.

Let us not see marriage as simply a place for the fulfillment of our own desires for pleasure or for rest
and refuge, but as a finishing school in which God is working with the soul of His people so that they
become more like the example of Christ that is found in the Scriptures. Also, after years of marriage an
obedient couple not only resemble each other but they resemble the Lord Jesus in new and exciting
ways because they have been in the “monastery” of the home.”

-Glen C. Knecht

*Mike Mason, author of The Mystery of Marriage


Myths of Marriage No. 9

“I have been trying to set out some of the more common ideas that plague marriages and seeking to expose them to the light with the goal that our Church shall have within it the most dynamic and happiest marriages anywhere. Today, I share with you something I often hear when asking an engaged couple why they would like to marry each other. Often I hear, “We are so like each other.” Then after the wedding and some months have gone by, I hear them day, “We have discovered how really different we are from each other.” The myth of marriage here is that marriage requires common interests and similar personalities. Actually the step of finding out how different your mate is a place of real growth. Now you are relating to the person whom you actually married not the one you saw through rose-colored glasses. And that person is very different from you. But the differences are something to celebrate and thank God for. They are God’s tools to shape and refine you. They stretch you to experience life in some new and wonderful ways, so that you are to build upon your differences. Rejoice in them and use them to add variety of interest and perspective and attitude to your life. As much as you can, try to find out why your mate feels the way he or she does about certain things, and as far as possible enter into that world. Then you will discover a oneness that rises out of the diversity. That is the strongest oneness of all. A key difference between you is your maleness and femaleness. That is the polarity on which God wants to build, therefore make the most of this difference. Seek to be as much the man as you can be and as much the woman. Let there be no blurring of the lines and the consequent loss of this blessed polarity. That means cultivating manliness and femininity for all you are worth so that your mate can delight in you as the precious gift God has prepared. A danger sets into marriage when a husband and wife cease being attracted to one another. Work at being as attractive to your beloved as you can be, accenting the differences God has put within you. The polarity is the essence of your union. Your marriage is built on this difference. Differences are not something to wish away in your marriage. There are great treasures to be enjoyed and for which to be profoundly grateful.”

– Glen C. Knecht


introducing a new cook

This post is going to be a little heavy on the pictures because I was not the one doing the cooking, my husband was. Just thought I’d prepare you.

The other day, my husband caught a half hour of the Food Network. He saw an episode of Rachel Ray’s show and decided that that looked easy enough and he was going to make us dinner. He even took notes.

I was, admittedly, a little surprised, but I am not the kind of person who is going to pass up on the opportunity to have someone else do the cooking for a night. So, without telling me what he was going to make, he gave me the shopping list so that I could get the ingredients while he was at work and then he whipped it all up when he got home.

I’m not going to post the recipes, but you can find them all here in the episode “30 Minutes to Eternal Bliss”. The recipes are for Croque Madames, Green Salad with Strawberry Balsamic Vinaigrette, and Vodka Still Works Cocktail.

He started us out with drinks. This one is called “The Vodka Still Works.” It’s pretty tasty, and there is no dishonesty in its name.

He then set to work on a bechamel sauce for the croques, and the balsamic dressing for the salads.

We ended up with the most delicious salad and open faced sandwiches.

I was especially impressed because this salad is something that I never would have tried. It looks weird to me, but it tastes wonderful. As you may have gathered, my husband’s cooking was a big hit around the dinner table. It was in fact so good that I had to make the sandwiches again tonight for B and I while Andrew was at work.

So let this be a lesson to all of us whose husbands have never gone beyond fried eggs and a chicken caesar salad! Husbands should also take note though that once you show us what you can do, you may be called upon to do it more often.


encouraging husbands

As wives, it is our calling and our joy to respect our husbands. I don’t know about you, but I always find it easier to show him that I love him than to show him that I respect him. It’s not that I don’t respect him (I do!), it’s just that I find it easier to show love than respect. I was looking for some tips the other day and I came across this website that gave some great practical ways for respecting and encouraging husbands. I’m not usually one for “30 days to….” (you fill in the blank) sorts of things, but I thought this one had a lot of good stuff in it.

My favorite thing about it is that it pushes you to step back and see all the wonderful things about your husband that you may have lost sight of in the months or years since you said your vows. So take a look at all the ways to encourage your husband and try to implement a few of them this weekend. Let’s make them love weekends and time at home with the family even more!


egg salad

Yuck. That’s my response when it comes to egg salad. But we have a problem here in our house, because when my husband hears “egg salad”, he says Yum. So, when I came across this recipe in the latest Everyday Food, I thought I should give it a try (a way of culinarily loving my husband, you could say). The recipe turned out pretty well, and I think it’s because it is so simple. You just mix up the dressing and then fold in the chopped up eggs. I think this also serves to create a decently textured egg salad – one of the things I dislike about ‘normal’ egg salad is the fact that it tastes like pureed deviled eggs, and shares the same consistency too. I guess you could say that I’m a citizen for chunky egg salad. There should be a bumper sticker.


Open-Faced Egg Salad Sandwiches

1/2 cup light mayo
2 teaspoons dijon mustard
1 teaspoon white-wine vinegar
8 hard-cooked eggs, peeled and roughly chopped
1 celery stalk, minced
1/4 small red onion, minced (maybe a little less)
coarse salt and ground pepper
8 slices Italian bread, toasted (regular works just fine though)
green leaf lettuce, for serving

In a medium bowl, whisk together mayo, mustard, and vinegar until smooth. Add celery and onion and season with salt and pepper; mix to combine. Gently fold in eggs. To serve, top toasts with lettuce and egg salad.