Myths of Marriage

Our pastor writes to our church weekly in addition to the Sunday sermon. I found this weeks meditation particularly encouraging and convicting. Just thought I’d pass it along.

Myths of Marriage
By Pastor Glen Knect

“For our meditations I want to present for our thought and discussion, some of the common myths people believe about marriage with what I think the reality of marriage is. Reactions and responses are welcome!
There are myths of marriage that keep us from entering into the real joys of this good gift. Our misconceptions bind us, but the truth will set us free to enjoy marriage even more than we have already. One such common mistake is to think of the purpose of marriage as being our happiness. When we think in this way we can be readily disappointed when there are crosses to bear, struggles to endure, and painful disappointments to undergo. It seems that our marriage then is not fulfilling its promise to us and something must be wrong with our mate or with us. But the goal of marriage is not our happiness but our oneness. Jesus taught us this when He said, “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:62)
The happiness that comes from marriage is a wonderful by-product, but it is just that. The end in view is our oneness. When we fulfill the purpose of God in this way, He rewards us with happiness and blessing. To seek after oneness is costly. It means being drawn out of our isolation into close fellowship. It involves the sacrifice of the ego, so that human pride is crushed until it has no life of its own anymore. It means being stretched so that one is hardly recognizable to one’s own self. But the end is being achieved. God is creating pure lovers with no agenda of their own, whose goal is to love this one other person as “they love themselves.” The very times when marriage is the most stressful are the times when God is putting pressure on us through our mates to give up our independence and our willfulness and submit wholeheartedly to Him in the thing which our mate is asking. That is often the time we most feel like reneging on our commitment. We want to back away from such a demanding intimacy. But God won’t let us. He is at work and the work is only half done. We are not yet the lovers God wants us to be. In these times our best solution is to yield our rights and complaints and let God shape us as a couple into the oneness which will reflect His image most closely.”


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